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In an article appearing in next week’s In Review Journal, the Institute for Research & Funding plans to release the findings of researcher Blythe Hildegaard, who single-handedly discovered that you were right.  Blythe lost her right hand in a chess match early last year.

After reviewing the qualifications of Senator John Kerry, would-be Kerry supporters were on the brink of hysteria. “Why are we running this guy,” Gerrie Elmwood, an unwed mother of 3 asked the Democratic powers that be in a press-conference Wednesday.  “Look, we know his record might be spotty,” said one minion of the party, “but there’s no way he’ll ever get head in the White House.”  (I’m sure that joke’s been done, but I have not heard it, and I just made it up, so I will give myself credit for it anyway.)

Police in Boston found 3 children home alone Wednesday, their mother apparently at the Democratic National Convention. No word on any pending charges.

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