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I’m changing my name to Jay Wilson. Why, you ask? Owen and Luke Wilson, Ann and Nancy Wilson, Brian and Carnie Wilson, Wilson-Phillips, Chynna Phillips, Wilson sporting goods, Wilson Picket, Warren Wilson, Warren Buffett, Woodrow Wilson, Parker Posey. Surely there are some sports figures named Wilson; Reggie Wilson, Bob Wilson, Pete Wilson. The list goes on. Lots of people with the last name “Wilson” have done some pretty good things. I believe I could affect change in the world with my outstanding acting skills or singing voice, if only I were named Jay Wilson.

Here is an interesting Google ad.

Not sure what the heck that has to do with Carnie, Wendy or Chynna, but if there giving away pieces of Cali-for-ni-a, put me down for two.

Speaking of cover letters, I have twenty-three packages waiting to go out to all the small-time Colorado newspapers, with a few syndication companies thrown in for good measure. So we know, I fully expect twenty-three “no thank you”’s, because I have no idea how to hyphenate “no thank you’s” properly. (I think I mean “punctuate.” See, there is no hope for me, at all.) In any case, they await the last revision of the cover letter, which I am “working on” right now, as I write this. Here are the notes I’ve made so far…

• “Make Funny.”
• “Email Jodi” (I think you know who you are, I have not gotten to the email either, but it’s about something else. I forget now, but I’ll remember soon.)
• “Make clips more small-town.” That is an interesting one, because I don’t think your average small-town paper reader is going to especially enjoy an article about strippers. Re-thinking my clips, is all.
• “Think about Editor names.” Which means, dear reader, that on most of these, I do not have a specific person to whom I am addressing the letters. That is really bad, I think, but I’ve searched, and can’t find online the proper contacts. See, laziness, that’s why I shall never succeed.

But, I do have some ideas for my new and improved cover letter, all of which are aimed at melding my serious business side with my more quirkier (I did that for affect.) (that too) funny side.

All in all, I think the best idea I’ve had in a long long time is this whole name change thing. Not sure “Jay” really goes with “Wilson” though. Oh, lookie there. I just Googled “Jay Wilson,” he appeared in “Dog Town and Z-Boys, the 2001 film about…I have no idea, never saw it. Still, he was in a movie, all because of the name.

Short and sweet, cause I know you like it like that.

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