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Pills and Vodka do not mix

Written by Jay on April 30, 2008 – 1:00 am

This may be my last entry here. I had one of my prescriptions filled last night, and I’m pretty sure they gave me the wrong thing. So, I’ll be dead soon, probably, and unable to write any more. I’ll try to keep in touch though.

Actually, I didn’t have my prescriptions refilled, because I had no refills left. When I left the pharmacy last night, I was pretty sure my doctor had cut me off. See, when I went in for a physical last September, he told me I was a lard ass, and that I needed to eat less and work out or I was going to die in the next 3-10 days. (Not really.) Also, one of the conditions of taking the cholesterol meds is that I get my blood drawn every three months. I may have mentioned before that this is my favorite thing to do right behind sticking random sharp objects into my eye. So, I have not been in for a blood draw in a while, and I figured this was why he cut me off.

But, when I went in this morning to get my blood drawn, all starving and weak, there were no tests scheduled for me. Obviously a call to the doctor is in order. Perhaps he thinks I am already dead. But, that’s when I took one of the six pills they gave me as a temporary fix. But, the pills they gave me do not look or taste anything like what I’ve been taking, so I’m almost positive they’ve given me arsenic or something.

With some “Monk” like investigative work, I was able to discover that my prescriptions were set to expire on January 10th, even before my doctor gave up on me. At least, that’s what the last few pill bottles indicate. I still think there may be trouble afoot. And, I still think they gave me the wrong thing. I can only hope that it was not something that will not negatively affect my sex drive, or ability to operate a Nintendo brand game controller.

I only mention all of this to say that when I was leaving the clinic, I happened to glance into the bushes next to my car, and there were two empty vodka bottles laying there under the bush. Where did these bottles come from? Did someone sit in the parking lot of a medical clinic and polish off two bottles of vodka? Probably not. What I’m guessing is that they were in someone’s car, and were thrown into the bushes in a little spring cleaning moment. But then, who has two empty bottles of vodka in their car?

Perhaps it was my neighbor. I’ve just learned that one of my neighbors has not been home recently because she went to jail for drunk driving. Remember, I do not live in the inner city or anything. This is good old suburbia, where people do not go to jail for anything except tax evasion. I think it might be time to move.

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