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On this day in 1867, Canada sort of almost became an independent country. According to the Wikipedia article about Canada Day, the British Parliament had limited political control until 1982, when George Michael wrote the song “Constitution Act” that finally freed the Canucks from the tyrannical rule of those otherwise lovely Brits. Also, at some point they were French, but the article didn’t talk about that. I have long been a fan of Canadians, specifically ones that are also female, so I thought I would celebrate my love by dedicating today’s post to all the friendly Canadians out there.

You can’t think of Canada without thinking of beer or hockey or the Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever, but the “land of a thousand hot chicks” has much more to offer than you would imagine– like, hot chicks. I know we are supposed to be keeping the Canadians out - protect the borders and our jobs and all - but I can’t help but think that the cold air up in the Great White North must be really good for creativity - as they have been churning out some great music and comedy for a very long time now. (Also it is good for the skin, and bone structure, apparently.) The following is a list of my favorite Canadians.

Kids in the Hall
SNL’s cousin to the North ran in the US from ’89 to ’95 and featured Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch, Mark McKinney and Scott Thompson – all very funny guys who wore more dresses than would normally be acceptable outside of a sketch-comedy show. Dave Foley went on to shows like News Radio, What’s up Peter Fuddy and Celebrity Poker Showdown, where he played an inebriated version of himself.

Kids in the Hall is important in that my family still quotes it today any time we are around an eight to ten year old child, thanks to one of McCulloch’s characters.

“One time…there was this kid…in my class…and he lived at home… with no mum or dad….and he was eight.”

The Bare Naked Ladies
My all-time favorite band, The Barenaked Ladies blends fantastic music with just enough comedy to entertain. Plus, I can play several of their songs on the guitar. Every time I read their bio I realize that not everyone in the world loves them as much as I do. That makes me cry a little bit. When I am rich, they will play at my birthday, and the world will be right. (I’m thinking 75th birthday. I hope they are still alive.)

“You think I only think about you
When were both in the same room
You think I’m only here to witness
The remains of love exhumed
You think were here to play
A game of who loves more than whom”

Ellen Page
Oy. She is a recent addition to my list of favorites, due in large part to her portrayal of Juno, the sassy pregnant but responsible teen in the movie of the same name. She was also the cute girl in X-Men: The Last Stand. (Which, by the way, can’t be the “last” stand, because they sort of left us hanging.) She was born when I was in High School, so I can’t really say much more about her – other than she is a very good actress, and her appearance on SNL was nothing short of brilliant.

“I’ve taken like three pregnancy tests, and I’m forshizz up the spout.”
“How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? That’s amazing…”
“I don’t know, I drank like, ten tons of Sunny D… Anyway dude, I’m telling you I’m pregnant and you’re acting shockingly cavalier.”
“Is this for real? Like, for real for real?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Oh my GOD. Oh shit! Phuket, Thailand!”
“There we go. That was kind of the emotion that I was searching for on the first take.”

Evangeline Lily
Double Oy. Yes, she is Kate, the lovable bad girl from LOST, but did you know she was in the Lizzy McGuire movie? As the “Police Officer,” though I am guessing her character was actually “Super Hot Police Officer.”

She was dating the hobbit boy for a while, but thankfully, that is over.

During filming she lives in Hawaii with two roommates – both of whom are her stand-ins on the show. Does that mean that she has two twins? No, I know it doesn’t, but for now I am going to pretend that it does…

All Dressed Chips
Dude, did you know that they have different flavoured potato chips in Canada? The “odd” flavours include “Ketchup,” and “All Dressed,” which is the Canadian way to say “take every flavour you make, eh, and mix them all together?”

That sounds nasty, but they are fantastic. We smuggled some home the last time we were there, but they are gone now, and I miss them.

Happy Canada day everybody. Have a Molson and watch X-Men. Apparently everyone in that movie is Canadian.

Honorable Mentions from the North

• Pamela Anderson (Many of you don’t remember, but she was attractive once, before the procedures.)
• Elisha Cuthbert
• Dan Aykroyd
• Sarah Chalke
• Neve Campbell
• Tommy Chong (Holy Crap! I had no idea he was Canadian.)
• Brendan Fraser
• Jill Hennessy (She has a twin!!!)
• Norm Macdonald
• Sarah McLachlan (She should have made the top list, but I don’t want you to think I am stuck in the ’90s)
• Alanis Morissette
• Carrie-Anne Moss
• Mike Myers
• Anna Paquin
• Missy Peregrym (Probably never hear of her again, but “Stick It” was a darn fine movie.)
• Seth Rogen (The funniest guy in the world, I think.)

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