Unfocused Content

I was surprised to learn yesterday that the Democratic National Convention was in town. I thought I remembered writing a piece a month or two ago about being glad that the elections were over, but I guess I had my facts all jumbled.

A quick scan of Google News this morning suggests that the official election does not even happen until some time in the fall, so all the stuff that has happened so far doesn’t even matter.  Admittedly I’ve had my head buried in the sand at work, and I’ve been building my internet empire on the weekends, so I haven’t had a chance to “tune in” to the ever-exciting election coverage. 

Still, the Democratic National Convention is in my home town of Denver, so you’d think I would have at least known about it, and possibly received a visit from one of the candidates –surely at least one of the seventeen people running could have made it down to the burbs.  I would have loved to have dinner with that one guy and his hot wife.  (I would have looked up their names before they came over.) Sadly, I didn’t even know they were in town.

Of course, I don’t live in the city of Denver, nor do I work in Denver, so the chances of me bumping into any of the candidates were slim – even one of the random candidates like that Obama guy. I’m sure if Obama is still in the race, he’s probably struggling. I think he only makes like $700,000 a year – not enough to run a campaign.  Of course, the whole point of our political system is that regular guys like me and Obama who only make $700,000 a year can still become President, because the system does not favor wealthy people, but he does have an uphill battle because Obama is hard to spell, and people don’t really remember the name.  Plus, I’m not sure the country is ready to elect a man with young children. Most of the Presidents that I have known have had older children, so this must be what people want.

I wish I would have known about the Democratic National Convention though, because I could have offered some advice to the candidates. If I were running for President, and were visiting Denver, I would probably travel out to the suburbs and spend an afternoon at Park Meadows mall putting bumper stickers on all the cars. People like it when you put the bumper stickers on for them, so that they do not have to do it themselves.  (I learned this “viral marketing” strategy in the parking lot of Disney World in 1985.)

Of course, I don’t think it matters how many people are running, or how many trees get cut down to make bumper stickers because I’m pretty sure Hillary has the election locked up.  Her acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention was apparently amazing, and people really like her because she is very electable and people really like her, so people like her because she is electable because people like her. Also she knows a ton of stuff about politics and stuff.

Other people were in town too – including every reporter in the world. I suppose this is the largest news story to happen in Denver since Columbine. Oddly enough, it was because of the under-handed, over-sensationalized, absolutely-inaccurate reporting of Columbine that I forever swore off news coverage, which is how I missed the whole Democratic National Convention thing. I’m guessing there have been sweeping changes in journalism since then though, so more than likely today’s television journalists only report on things about which they have information and do not just spout sensational speculation for the sake of ratings.

I am sad though because I read that Anne Hathaway was in town for the convention, and I would have liked to meet her for several days, possibly over a weekend. Her outstanding attributes make her a natural spokesperson for any campaign. She has a brilliant political mind, as evidenced by her stint on the university lecture circuit, and her grasp of economics is amazing. (Her paper on Hazlitt was brilliant.) But, apart from her treasure trove of political tomes (you must read her book on the political history of the US during the cold war) she just has a certain something – I can’t quite figure out what it is, probably her effervescent personality - that makes people, especially male people, want to be around her.

From what I was able to read this morning, there was only one riot in Denver this week. From the picture, it looks like some hippies – probably fans of the rock and roll band Rage Against the Machine – got into a scuffle with the Denver Police. It doesn’t look like any of the police were injured though, so all is well.  In related news, the Denver band Flobots played a concert, which kicked off with their song “Handlebars,” followed by seventeen Steve Miller Band covers, and finished up with the long version of “Handlebars,” by which time most of the concert goers had moved on to listen to Hillary’s acceptance speech.   

More than anything, missing the Democratic National Convention brings to light the fact that I need to pay more attention to the world. There is still time for me to study all of the candidates and make an informed decision before the elections some time in the fall, but what if there had been something big – like the Olympics or something – and I totally missed them? I would feel pretty stupid and uninformed. I don’t think the Olympics are until next year though, or maybe this winter, so I still have some time to get ready for that.

UPDATE:  I went downtown at lunch to see if I could catch a glimpse of Ellen (I heard she was in town) and I got this short clip…

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