Unfocused Content

I looked up global warming on the internet to see if there was anything that I could do, as a concerned citizen, to raise the temperature of the Earth a little bit.  According to the research, the best I can hope for is some really hot summers sitting around the nursing home waiting for my great-grandchildren to visit. (They never visit – probably because it’s always so darn hot.)

Even if I were to buy a larger car, cut down all my trees and run my air-conditioner year round, I probably won’t make any real changes.  

That sucks.

Those of you who do not live in Colorado may not realize that it is May. May is historically the month where children stop going to school and start going to the pool every day.  It is traditionally not a month where one must concern themselves with coats or hats or the snow-worthiness of ones automobile tires. Yet, as you can see from the Super-Doppler 9 weather forecast below, such things are currently at the forefront of my brain.

My youngest daughter - let’s call her Lou - played spring soccer this year.  Folks here are reluctant to play spring soccer because the weather in March and April can be iffy.  But usually the last few games, which take place in May, are beautiful enough that it makes the cold evening practices and muddy early season games worth it.  This past Saturday I sat on the sidelines bundled in my full winter gear – hat, gloves, flannel-lined pants and a down coat – freezing my buns off. 

Of course I was glad to do it in support of my kiddo, but I couldn’t help wishing that we lived somewhere a little warmer, like Duluth, or possibly the North Magnetic Pole. At least there they get some spring weather once in a while.

In fairness, the soccer field was built on an Indian burial ground or something (feathers, not dots, as my friend would say – I don’t know if that’s super PC, so I’m just letting you know that I would never say that) so the winds are always whipping through the fields and the temperature is always 20 degrees cooler there than in the rest of the town.  Had the developer tried to build houses there, the structures more than likely would have been sucked into a super-weather-vortex-thingy, causing death and mayhem and possibly driving up home-owners insurance rates, which is why it is a soccer field.

Of course, it is only May 12^th.  There is still plenty of time for the weather to normalize and for May to become springy and beautiful. However, in my opinion, what will likely happen is that there will be no spring – it will snow tomorrow, then next week we will get our first glorious day of 90 degree weather, immediately followed by our second, third and 100^th day of 90+ degree weather – even at night – so that by the time October rolls around, I’ll be bitching about my clothes sticking to me for the hundredth time, and wondering if we might ever get some nice fall weather. And then it will snow, and the cycle will continue.

Growing up in Houston we had two seasons – hot, and December.  It would seem that Colorado is headed that direction – except “hot,” which really is the more miserable of the two, lasts for six, maybe eight days, and instead of “December,” season two would be more aptly named “Jesus it’s cold, what month is this?”

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